And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
