Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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