Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
