I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
