It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You pole danced in your parka.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
