you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
