you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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