I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I cut my penus on the lid.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
