Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
