youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
4 words: hood of his car
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
