Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
