it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
