i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
