Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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