she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
