No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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