please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
