What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
