So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
