I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize