I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize