i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
