I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
