Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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