Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
