Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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