If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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