I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize