Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
