so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
