Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Your shirt... Was in my pants
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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