Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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