Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
