He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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