If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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