she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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