now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
