The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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