...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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