That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This baby is an asshole
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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