So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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