I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
