Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
