brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
