do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
