i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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