YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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