He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
