they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
