So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
