you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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