using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
