you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
