I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
