why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize