I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
