it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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