but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
my poor anus
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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