PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
