i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
my poor anus
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
