Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
only you would photoshop your dick
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
